Friday, December 28, 2007

One Mean Mama!

Well, it finally happened....And TWICE in one day. I was labeled a "MEAN MOTHER" by BOTH of my perectly well-behaved, grateful offspring. Oh, don't worry....My feelings weren't TOO terribly hurt. I actually consider it a compliment to tell you the truth! In fact, I resolve to be the MEANEST MOM in THE WORLD in 2008. Here is a little blurb you might have heard before, but I think it pinpoints WHY I am aspiring to be such a 'meanie' to my kiddos.

Was your mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest
mom in the whole world!

While other kids had candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat
sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different
from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd
think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing
with them.

She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would
be gone for an hour, or less.

She had the nerve to break Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on many things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandilizing others' property or arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. That must be what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough Mean Mothers any more!

I salute all of the MEAN MAMAS I know! Keep up the good work, ladies !


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